Choose Happiness

If you ask my three young adult children to summarize my motherly advice  they would give you three words: “make good choices.” I could have easily dispensed other advice.“Don’t do drugs,” “Study hard,” “Eat your vegetables.” Instead, I concluded “make good choices” covered everything, and I made it my constant theme throughout their lives.

As they grew up, there were many opportunities to discuss choices with my two daughters and my son. There were also many opportunities to admit my own choices, good and bad, as I lived out the consequences of those choices right in front of their eyes.

The most important advice I can give to those involved with divorce is similar but more succinct: choose happiness.

I was divorced from my children’s father after 18 years of marriage. I entered into a second marriage but due to a series of devastating events, after only two years that second marriage also ended in divorce. I was so grief stricken that I could barely function. There were days I just chose to stay in bed. During that time, a friend called. “When your divorce is over, you’re going to SOAR,” she said to me.

Musings of a Mediator

As a mediator for nearly thirty years, I have had the opportunity to sit with people in their darkest hour, hear their stories, and work with them as they process, heal, and resolve the most devastating circumstances of their lives. In this front row seat, I have gained insights beyond measure, on how people can heal from unthinkable betrayal, heartache, and fear. In this blog, I will share some of the wisdom that I have had the privilege to uncover in my chair at the head of the table. Until my next post, I want to reassure you of one thing…on the other side of your most devastating moments, there is an opportunity to soar.